So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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