Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
