its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize