He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
