I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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