those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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