All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
