The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
