I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
