I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
