it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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