Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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