Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize