You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize