I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize