Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
