Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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