in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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