my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Randomize
