i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
3 2 1 whiskey
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I currently don't understand fingers.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
