You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
