how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
