8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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