I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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