I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
