I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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