bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
