I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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