First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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