Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
