We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
