New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
