What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
