How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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