Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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