why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
