this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
