week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
