Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
