It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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