I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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