i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You are the jesus of drinking
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
