drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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