stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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