is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
