I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
