Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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