My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
