the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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