Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize