I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
