I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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