This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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