no, he came in my armpit
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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