Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
