so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
