Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
