Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
