I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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