I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
