Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
