I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
