Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
