Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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