I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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