I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
