I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize