Jerry, you need to find god
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
