Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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