I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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