i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
