As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
